The Pygmalion Effect–How Your Self-Perception Alters Your Reality

What Kind of Person do you think you are? How do you perceive yourself to be?

What if I told you that how you answer this question determines the outcome of your life? 

How you see yourself is of absolute importance because it affects everything that you do. How we see ourselves determines what kind of goals we set, what kind of thoughts we think, how we act and behave, and what decisions we make.

To start off, I'm going to give a little lesson in Roman legend 101. According to Roman legend, a sculptor by the name of Pygmalion had envisioned a woman so remarkably beautiful he could not help but bring his vision to life through his gift of sculpting. His sculpture was more than beautiful; in fact, it embodied every ideal, hope, dream, possibility, and meaning that Pygmalion held. It wasn’t before long that Pygmalion fell in love with his idealistic sculpture, so much so that he bargained with the goddess of love, Venus, to bring her to life. And according to the legend, she did.

Now what does this have to do with you and I you might ask? Well, like Pygmalion, who brought his sculpture to life simply through the power of his belief, you and I have the power to bring to life certain traits within others and within ourselves simply based on how we perceive others and ourselves. In positive psychology, this power of belief is referred to as “The Pygmalion Effect,” and its implications reveal that our belief in another person’s potential, or our own, actually brings that potential to life.  

To further explain, I’ll share a little story with you: Back when I was in high-school, there was a classroom clown cracking jokes and causing apparent disruption to the classroom. Instead of simply asking the kid to be quiet, giving him a pink slip, or kicking him out of the class, the teacher told him to hold out his right hand and turn it over. The student did said procedure as the teacher responded, “Good, now at least I know you can flip burgers at McDonald’s, because that’s what you’re going to be doing the rest of your life.” What this teacher may or may not have realized at the time, was that he was speaking prophetic words of negativity into this child’s life. Rather than kindly encouraging the class-clown to pay attention, he publicly belittled and humiliated him, and sure enough, a couple years later, that kid had dropped out of high-school and began flipping burgers at McDonald’s.

Here’s another example: A new teacher was given the names of her students as well as their locker numbers. She mistakenly took these numbers as each of her pupil’s IQ scores. Consequently, she spent the rest of the school year under the impression that each one of her students was an utter genius, and her verbal and non-verbal actions communicated that quite clearly to each of her students. By the end of the year, the school’s principle called the teacher into his office asking, “What on earth did you do to get these kids’ test scores so incredibly high?” Her response was, “Well sir, they are genius.’” “And how would you know that?” he replied. “Well because of their IQ scores you gave me in the beginning of the year!” she returned. With a grin and a shake of the head he said, “Those weren’t their IQ scores, those were their locker numbers!”  

Story upon story, study upon study continues to prove the dramatic effect our beliefs have when it comes to influencing others. Our beliefs in others can either discourage them to sink into failure, or encourage them to rise up and realize their full-potential. The same is true of ourselves. The way we see ourselves determines how we act, behave, what we say and think, what kind of goals we set (if we believe we are destined for failure, the bar will be set very low, and vice versa) and what kind of decisions that we make. If we don’t believe we can do something, what’s the point in us even trying in the first place?

Why did my high-school friend, the class clown, drop out of high school? Because he listened to what he was told and didn’t believe he could do anything else with his life. A student who doesn’t believe they will ever amount to anything is more likely to drop out or get poor grades. Why even try in the first place? A young girl who doesn’t have much self-worth or self-value is more likely to seek love in the wrong places, because she doesn’t think she can do any better or is worth any better. A husband who is constantly nagged by his wife is going to feel as if there’s no point to doing anything nice for her at all.

When we encourage others, when we help others to see their unlimited potential, we are aiding in bringing that potential to life. When we listen to self-degrading thoughts of negativity and failure, we are only hindering our future. When we chose to seek our strong areas, improve on our weak ones, and know that the potential within each of us is unlimited, we are creating a future that is bright, meaningful, and completely fulfilled and purposeful.

As Sean Achor puts it, “When we believe we can do more and achieve more (or when others believe It for us), that is often the precise reason we do achieve more.” Science has barely begun to glimpse into all of the remarkable ways our mindset actually shapes and determines the objective world around us.

It is truly proof of the timeless wisdom that, “As a man thinks in his heart, so he becomes” (Proverbs 23:7).

Now let me ask again, “Who do you believe you are?”

I hope you answer differently, or at least a little more positively knowing that how you answer will be reflected in  how you behave, live, the goals you set, the thoughts you think, the words you speak, and ultimately, the kind of life you will have.

"I am by nature a dealer in words, and words are the MOST powerful drug known to humanity" -Rudyard Kipling 

Guard your Thoughts

   It is so important to guard our thoughts and the way we perceive ourselves, because how we perceive ourselves affects everything we do.

 

“As a man thinks in his heart, so he becomes” (Proverbs 23:7).

 

The Bible tells us that, “As a man thinks in his heart, so he becomes” (Proverbs 23:7). This Proverb is telling us that what we believe about ourselves, what we hold to be true about ourselves, actually determines what kind of person we become.

We live in a way that is in accordance with our beliefs and what we perceive to be true.

 

You've probably heard the quote:

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

And it's true; it all starts with what goes on in your mind!

Everything you do begins with a thought. And the kind of thoughts you're thinking determine what kind of actions and behavior you will have. What gets me most excited about these truths however, are all the new discoveries in the field of positive psychology which scientifically prove the truth behind these age-old wisdoms.

Shawn Achor, author of the Best-selling book The Happiness Advantage and one of the world's leading experts in happiness and human potential explains, "Studies show that simply believing we can bring about positive change in our lives increases motivation and job performance; [and] that success, in essence, becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy... Amazingly, [an individual's] belief in their own ability is an even stronger predictor of job performance [and success] than the actual level of skill or training they had." How amazing is that! An individual’s belief of whether or not they can perform a task is more powerful than their actual training or ability!

 

An individual’s belief of whether or not they can perform a task is more powerful than their actual training or ability.

Think of it this way: A person who considers themselves unattractive will likely go through life feeling a low self-esteem and negatively towards themselves, unless this person can learn to focus on their attractive qualities, and make an emphasis on their positive attitude and personality instead of their undesired physical features. If they don't change their perspective about themselves, then their belief about themselves being unattractive will be more of a hindrance then their actual suppose lack of physical appeal. It's not about the individual’s looks, but their feelings and perception about their looks which then cause them to act, perform, and behave in a way that is either beneficial and productive, or harmful and destructive.

 

Success is not so much determined by the individual’s abilities, but their feelings and perception about their abilities which then cause them to act, perform, and behave in a way that is either beneficial and productive, or harmful and destructive.

 

Let me give another example.

A person who believes they will not go anywhere in life, or believes they are an unintelligent loser with no future is going to live in a way that is in accordance with those beliefs. Meaning, it is likely they will not make much of an effort to get an education, and they may fall into drugs, alcohol abuse, or other non-productive behavior, all because of their self-image and the way they perceive themselves. We are more prone into giving into self-destructive tendencies and habits if our self-image is distorted and our thinking is off-balance. If we believe that we are unsuccessful, stupid, or a loser, we will live and act in a way that is in accordance with those beliefs. But, if we believe that we have the ability to succeed, triumph over circumstances, that we are loveable, and beautiful in our own way, then we will live a life that is in accordance with success, striving to be the best we can be, and living to our full potential. Numerous studies discussed in The Happiness Advantage have repeatedly proven "how strongly our beliefs can affect our abilities." Achor writes that our "beliefs are so powerful because they dictate our efforts and actions." How you perceive yourself and what you believe to be true about yourself are so important because they will determine how you feel, act, and ultimately the choices you make which determine the course of your life.

 

“Beliefs are so powerful because they dictate our efforts and actions.” –Shawn Achor

 

Remember what it says in Proverbs 27:3? "As we think in our hearts, so we become." If our self-image is distorted and our thinking is off-balance then we will be more prone into giving into self-destructive tendencies and habits. If we can learn to guard our thoughts, recognize when they get off-balance, and make continuous and gradual changes towards developing a healthy self-image and mindset, we will prevent ourselves from the possible downfall of negative self-fulfilling prophecy. As Achor explains it, "By changing the way we perceive ourselves and our work, we can dramatically improve our results." In order to begin changing the way you perceive yourself, you need to begin focusing on all your strengths and reasons as to why you will succeed rather than fail. This does not mean ignoring your weaknesses. It simply means choosing to put a positive emphasis on your strengths which will boost your confidence, self-belief, and in turn, will actually alter and improve your ability to soar to new heights and accomplish new goals--all because you changed your perspective onto your abilities and successes rather than weaknesses and failures.

 

If you’ve found any of what you read helpful or encouraging, I encourage you to pick up a copy of my book, TNT: TeeNage Transformation –Explosive Ideas That Will Blow Your Mind and Change Your Life Forever! where you can read more on the power of transformational thinking and positive "Transformational New Thoughts!"

Additional reading recommendations: The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor.