The Key To Being Irresistibly Attractive (The Secret Formula for Attaining a Certain “Je Ne Sais Quoi”)

In my last post, I described 4 Detrimental Dating Energies, and 1 Irresistibly magnetic one. The magnetic, attractive energy I described embodied what in French is known as having a certain “Je Ne Sais Quoi.” The phrase literally reads, “I know not what,” but it is meant to convey “a pleasant quality that is hard to describe” or, “something that cannot be adequately expressed.” Hence, when people say that someone has a certain “Je ne sais quoi,” they are expressing that there is just something simply about them that they cannot describe, yet is alluring and appealing, enchanting, and completely captivating. For this post, I’m going to reveal to you the secret formula for attaining this kind of delightful “Je Ne Sais Quoi.” I’ve created a formula for what hours of research and countless books have led me to believe is key to attaining and maintaining this kind of magnetic “Je ne sais quoi.” Are you ready? This could very well change your perspective on life and dating, so listen up! The formula is as follows:

Je Ne Sais Quoi= Joie De Vivre + Aime-toi toi-même

Right now this formula may not make any sense, especially for those of you who do not speak French!  But don’t fret, I’m about to explain exactly what it means! Let’s take a deeper look at the components of having a “Je ne sais Quoi”:

1.       The first secret ingredient to having a “Je ne sais quoi,” attractive, and magnetic personality is learning to have a “Joie de Vivre.” Having a “Joie de Vivre” means having a “Joy of Life.”  In order to accomplish this you must do Everything in Your Power to Feel Good About Being Single and enjoy your life just the way it is. Do what you love. Learn to focus on all that you have instead of what you lack. When you do what you love, you feel happy and content, and your state of being is one of joy, contentment, and utter gratitude for life. Being in this state of mind creates an energy that emits a “joie de vivre”—a joy of life that is so magnetic and irresistible because others want that for themselves too! So to get into this captivating state of being you must:

a)      Do What You Love And Enjoy,

b)      Do What Makes You Feel Good,

c)       Do What Makes You Happy,

d)      Do What Is Productive

You might even want to consider making a list of these things so that any time you’re feeling down, you have a whole list of activities to choose from that will boost your mood and get you back into the “joie de vivre” state of being. To give you some ideas of what you can do to feel really good, I’ll share with you a few things that make me really happy!

You can dance, take a self-improvement class, learn a new skill, take up a new hobby, exercise, make a list of things you’re grateful for, do some yoga, read a book, write, cook, make a cake, learn a new language, travel, explore, treat yourself to a little chocolate or ice cream, go to the beach, spend time in nature, learn an instrument, make music, go for a hike, spend time with friends and loved ones, go laser tagging, bowling, anything to evoke the inner child in you and bring you laughter and joy and get you excited for being alive and all the adventures life has to offer!

1.       The second secret ingredient to having a “Je ne sais Quoi” personality is having an “Aime-toi toi-même,” or, love for yourself.  I cannot emphasize enough the importance of self-love. In order to have this “aime-toi toi-même,” or love for yourself, it is

imperative that you do Everything in Your Power to Feel Good About Yourself.  You do this by taking care of yourself. Meaning, you eat right, you get enough sleep and adequate exercise; you read, learn new things, fill your mind with good thoughts, surround yourself with positive and uplifting people, work on improving yourself so that you can feel productive and have a healthy self-esteem and self-love. These activities can also add to your “joie de vive,” but they are more oriented toward taking care of yourself and showing yourself love. In addition to taking care of yourself on a basic level of eating right and getting adequate sleep and exercise—although doing these things alone is enough to make a radical shift in how you feel about yourself—you take your levels of self-care and self-love to a whole new level by doing things like treating yourself to a massage or spa day, getting a manicure/pedicure, facial, or spend a whole day dedicated to doing activities that will increase the love and appreciation you have for the amazing human being that you are!

I love the way legendary actor Charlie Chaplin described what loving himself meant: 

"As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for
my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew
me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitudea healthy egoism. Today I know it is 'LOVE OF ONESELF.'"


So to quickly re-cap, this is what you need to know for maintaining a magnetizing and captivating “je ne sais quoi” personality:

Formula: Je Ne Sais Quoi= Joie De Vivre + Aime-toi toi-même

1.                  Secret Ingredient #1: “Joie de Vivre”

Translation: “Joy of Life” 

How to Accomplish This: Do Everything in Your Power to Feel Good About Being Single and Enjoy Your Life Just as It is

Tips: Travel, Take up a New Hobby, Spend time with friends and loved ones, read, write, cook, hike, spend time in nature. Do what

A)     You Love and Enjoy

B)      What Makes You Happy

C)      What feels good to you and is in alignment with who you are

D)     What is Productive

2.                  Secret Ingredient #2: Aime-toi toi-même.

Translation: Love yourself.

How to Accomplish This: Do Everything in Your Power to Feel Good About Yourself by taking good care of yourself

Tips: Exercise, Eat Right, Get Enough Sleep, Fill Your Mind with Good Things, Get a Massage, Treat Yourself to a Mani/Pedi


One final thought I'd like to leave you with is a quote I came across right after writing this post that I think perfectly sums up the message I'm trying to convey. It's from Deepak Chopra's amazing book, The Path to Love: 

"The secret to being attractive, if one consults the past record of human experience, is remarkably simple. It is summarized in an aphorism from the Latin poet Ovid, who said, 'To love, be loveable.' A lovable person is someone who is natural, easy with himself or herself, radiating the simple, unaffected humanity that makes anyone truly attractive."

As always I hope you found this post interesting and insightful for creating your own magnetic "Je Ne Sais Quoi" allure! 

All my love, 

Brigitte

The Pygmalion Effect–How Your Self-Perception Alters Your Reality

What Kind of Person do you think you are? How do you perceive yourself to be?

What if I told you that how you answer this question determines the outcome of your life? 

How you see yourself is of absolute importance because it affects everything that you do. How we see ourselves determines what kind of goals we set, what kind of thoughts we think, how we act and behave, and what decisions we make.

To start off, I'm going to give a little lesson in Roman legend 101. According to Roman legend, a sculptor by the name of Pygmalion had envisioned a woman so remarkably beautiful he could not help but bring his vision to life through his gift of sculpting. His sculpture was more than beautiful; in fact, it embodied every ideal, hope, dream, possibility, and meaning that Pygmalion held. It wasn’t before long that Pygmalion fell in love with his idealistic sculpture, so much so that he bargained with the goddess of love, Venus, to bring her to life. And according to the legend, she did.

Now what does this have to do with you and I you might ask? Well, like Pygmalion, who brought his sculpture to life simply through the power of his belief, you and I have the power to bring to life certain traits within others and within ourselves simply based on how we perceive others and ourselves. In positive psychology, this power of belief is referred to as “The Pygmalion Effect,” and its implications reveal that our belief in another person’s potential, or our own, actually brings that potential to life.  

To further explain, I’ll share a little story with you: Back when I was in high-school, there was a classroom clown cracking jokes and causing apparent disruption to the classroom. Instead of simply asking the kid to be quiet, giving him a pink slip, or kicking him out of the class, the teacher told him to hold out his right hand and turn it over. The student did said procedure as the teacher responded, “Good, now at least I know you can flip burgers at McDonald’s, because that’s what you’re going to be doing the rest of your life.” What this teacher may or may not have realized at the time, was that he was speaking prophetic words of negativity into this child’s life. Rather than kindly encouraging the class-clown to pay attention, he publicly belittled and humiliated him, and sure enough, a couple years later, that kid had dropped out of high-school and began flipping burgers at McDonald’s.

Here’s another example: A new teacher was given the names of her students as well as their locker numbers. She mistakenly took these numbers as each of her pupil’s IQ scores. Consequently, she spent the rest of the school year under the impression that each one of her students was an utter genius, and her verbal and non-verbal actions communicated that quite clearly to each of her students. By the end of the year, the school’s principle called the teacher into his office asking, “What on earth did you do to get these kids’ test scores so incredibly high?” Her response was, “Well sir, they are genius.’” “And how would you know that?” he replied. “Well because of their IQ scores you gave me in the beginning of the year!” she returned. With a grin and a shake of the head he said, “Those weren’t their IQ scores, those were their locker numbers!”  

Story upon story, study upon study continues to prove the dramatic effect our beliefs have when it comes to influencing others. Our beliefs in others can either discourage them to sink into failure, or encourage them to rise up and realize their full-potential. The same is true of ourselves. The way we see ourselves determines how we act, behave, what we say and think, what kind of goals we set (if we believe we are destined for failure, the bar will be set very low, and vice versa) and what kind of decisions that we make. If we don’t believe we can do something, what’s the point in us even trying in the first place?

Why did my high-school friend, the class clown, drop out of high school? Because he listened to what he was told and didn’t believe he could do anything else with his life. A student who doesn’t believe they will ever amount to anything is more likely to drop out or get poor grades. Why even try in the first place? A young girl who doesn’t have much self-worth or self-value is more likely to seek love in the wrong places, because she doesn’t think she can do any better or is worth any better. A husband who is constantly nagged by his wife is going to feel as if there’s no point to doing anything nice for her at all.

When we encourage others, when we help others to see their unlimited potential, we are aiding in bringing that potential to life. When we listen to self-degrading thoughts of negativity and failure, we are only hindering our future. When we chose to seek our strong areas, improve on our weak ones, and know that the potential within each of us is unlimited, we are creating a future that is bright, meaningful, and completely fulfilled and purposeful.

As Sean Achor puts it, “When we believe we can do more and achieve more (or when others believe It for us), that is often the precise reason we do achieve more.” Science has barely begun to glimpse into all of the remarkable ways our mindset actually shapes and determines the objective world around us.

It is truly proof of the timeless wisdom that, “As a man thinks in his heart, so he becomes” (Proverbs 23:7).

Now let me ask again, “Who do you believe you are?”

I hope you answer differently, or at least a little more positively knowing that how you answer will be reflected in  how you behave, live, the goals you set, the thoughts you think, the words you speak, and ultimately, the kind of life you will have.

"I am by nature a dealer in words, and words are the MOST powerful drug known to humanity" -Rudyard Kipling