How to Take Insults Lightly

When other’s insults become difficult for me to handle, here are a few things I keep in mind to put things in perspective :-) Read this post to learn how to let insults roll over your shoulder like water on a ducks back! ;-)

1. Consider the source of where the insults are coming from. Happy people do not belittle other people. Small-minded, immature people do that. If someone is insulting you, consider the pain, emptiness, and sorrow they must so deeply feel that would make them want to attempt to bring someone down to their level of sorrow and sadness. I like what Khalil Gibran said: "To BELITTLE, you have to BE Little." Small minds insult and tear down, great minds encourage you to become great too. Consider the source of where the insult is coming from, and have empathy for them.

2.       Spread Love, Kindness, Understanding, Compliment, Or Say Something Nice To The Person Insulting You.

Something powerful occurs when we show love to our “enemies.”  When we answer to insults in a loving, calm manner, and even

compliment or say something nice to the other person in return, it has an effect that tends to make the other person feel like a jerk for being rude or unkind. Even if they may not feel remorseful when you are kind, that’s okay, because the important thing is not to retaliate in anger, but to conquer unkindness with love. Romans 12:17-21 tells us: “Don’t pay back anyone for their evil actions with evil actions, but overcome evil with good… Never pay back evil for evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honest clear through. Don’t quarrel with anyone. Be at peace with everyone, just as much as possible. Instead, feed your enemy if he is hungry. If he is thirsty give him something to drink and you will be ‘heaping coals of fire on his head.’" In other words, your accuser will feel ashamed of himself/herself for what they have said or done to you. Don’t let evil get the upper hand, but conquer evil by doing good.

Showing love to our “enemies” is something the Bible instructs us to do, and wisely so. Matthew 4:44-47 says, “Love your enemies!

Pray for those who persecute you! In that way you will be acting as true sons of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust too [He is kind to all]. If you love only those who love you, what good is that? Even scoundrels do that much. If you are friendly only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even the unbelievers do that.”

“Bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also” (Luke 6:28-29). Back in the day, a slap on the cheek was actually an analogy for a verbal insult. This verse is telling us to be gracious when insults come our way. To accept them instead of violently retaliating.

3.       Forgive. Don’t seek vengeance. Let it go. Sometimes when someone hurts or insults us, our first reaction is often to retort back in anger and hostility. However, if we do this, we are only lowering ourselves to our offender’s level. We must get past that, and be more mature. We need to forgive, let go, and not seek out “getting back,” or “getting even.” The Bible tells us that God will take care of that. He is our vindicator (Psalm 2:2), and vengeance is His (Deuteronomy 32:35, Proverbs 20:22).

 

When we are deeply hurt or insulted, our first human, carnal response tends to be to get even. But we are instructed to do just the opposite: “Don’t pay back anyone for their evil actions with evil actions… Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God, for he has said that he will repay those who deserve it. Don’t take the law into your own hands” (Romans 12:19).

Remember that “no weapon that is formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against you in

judgment you shall show to be in the wrong. This [peace, righteousness, security, triumph over opposition] is the heritage of the servants of the Lord [those in whom the ideal Servant of the Lord is reproduced]; this is the righteousness or the vindication which they obtain from Me [this is that which I impart to them as their justification],’ says the Lord” (Isaiah 54:17). 

How cool is that? God himself has promised us that “every tongue that rises against us will be proven wrong!” We don’t have to worry about proving ourselves or getting back or getting even. God will work on our behalf. “Do not say, ‘I'll pay you back for this wrong!’ Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you” (Proverbs 20:22).

If you still struggle with feelings of revenge, wanting to get even, or retorting back with equally or worse unkind words or actions, then I humbly suggest meditating on these verses to remind you that God is your vindicator, He will give you justice, and He will act on your behalf if you leave revenge in His hands and instead treat your enemies with love.

“The LORD is a God who avenges.”  -Psalm 94:1

“It is mine to avenge; I will repay [says the Lord].” -Deuteronomy 32:35

“Do not say, ‘I'll pay you back for this wrong!’ Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you.” -Proverbs 20:22

“Do not say, ‘I'll do to them as they have done to me; I'll pay them back for what they did.’" -Proverbs 24:29

“Never pay back evil for evil.” -Romans 12:17

“Don’t try to get revenge for yourselves, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath.” -Romans 12:19

4.       Recognize your Value. We all have immeasurable value; however, some people base their value off of their looks, possessions, intelligence, their career, or the way they dress. The problem is that all of these things are completely conditional, and if you associate your self-worth with these things, at any moment they could be lost or taken away, and your self-value would completely diminish. It’s important to learn to have an unconditional, healthy love for yourself that is not based on external appearances, belongings, or success, but simply on who you are as a human being. One thing that has personally helped me recognize my worth, is aligning the beliefs I hold to be true in my mind with who God says I am and who He has created me to be. Recognize your value and self-worth by dis-associating yourself with your belongings, successes, looks, status, etc., and you will have a more sound idea of who you really are. As a result, the opinions of others will matter less and less because you are confident in who you are as a person.

5. Have Someone to Confide In. Sometimes insults or hurtful words can really get us down, and we may feel the need to just let it out and have a shoulder to cry on. If something someone said

really bothered you, don’t let it eat you up inside, instead talk to a trusted friend or beloved family member. That’s what friends are for, to help support each other and lift one another up when they are down. It's important to surround yourself with people who support, love, and can encourage you when you are in need of it. Don’t let your ego get in the way of asking someone you trust for a word of advice or encouragement, or just a listening ear. It’s important to speak encouraging words into the lives of our friends and loved ones, but also to be humble enough to seek encouragement when we need it.

Finally, I’d like to encourage you to spread a little love today by saying something nice and encouraging, even to someone who may be a complete stranger. You never know what that person may be going through, and your kind words may be just what they needed. Remember that “The power life and death are in the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21) and that “gentle words bring life and health; [while] a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit” (Proverbs 15:4). Be someone who brings life, health, and healing into the lives of those around you through the words that you speak! :-)

I hope you found these tips helpful, and I wish you all a fantastically wonderful day :-)

Peace & Love to you all,

Brigitte