3 Simple Ways To Overcome Jealousy

Having struggled in the past with jealousy myself, I know the pain that being green with envy can cause. After

spending much time in contemplation and prayer about jealousy, I came to the conclusion that it occurs when we are constantly comparing, coveting, and allowing our self-centered ego to run our lives. Luckily, there are a few simple steps we can take to overcoming this negative ego trait of jealousy.

When it comes to overcoming jealousy, we must first recognize where it comes from:

Where does jealousy come from?

1. Comparing yourself to others (which can lead to feelings of inadequacy). "Comparison is a thief of joy." 
2. Coveting- the sin of constantly wanting what others have
3. Your ego (which can be prideful and constantly want you to “keep up with the Jones’)

How do you get rid of it?

1. Do not compare yourself to others
2. Learn to be content with what you have
3. Live in the Spirit of Love, rather than the carnal, self-centered, egotistical flesh

What action steps do I need to take to overcome it?

1. Cut off, or spend less time wasted on external influences that may be impacting you negatively (i.e. Social media, magazines, the internet, etc), and instead spend more time in nature, appreciating simple beauty in life, with family, friends, and loved ones, and with God.
2. Count your blessings. Every morning make a list of 3 new things you are grateful for. Praise God for all that you have instead of constantly complaining, comparing, or wishing you had more. The Bible says to “give thanks always,” and “in everything, give thanks” (Ephesians 5:20, 1 Thessalonians 5:18). Psalm 92:2-4 says, “Every morning tell him, “Thank you for your kindness,” and every evening rejoice in all his faithfulness.” God makes it clear throughout His word that gratitude is something we need to implement daily in our lives.
3. Walk in the power of the Holy Spirit. Galatians 5:16 says: “Live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.  For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh… The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like…But the fruit [product] of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.”
   

   
   

We are told that some of the products of living in the fleshly carnal nature are jealousy, envy, and hatred, while living  in the Holy Spirit leads to love, peace, gentleness, kindness, goodness, and self-control—exactly the opposite of our carnal nature. The good news is that if we feel we are lacking God’s Holy Spirit at work in our lives, the Bible says we can ask for more, and God will give it to us! (See Matthew 7:11, Luke 11:13). 

When you invite God into your life and ask Him to fill you up with His Spirit, He gives you the supernatural ability to overcome temptations and live and walk in the Holy Spirit of God. He will help you overcome jealousy, envy, or any other issue of the heart you may be dealing with. He has said: “I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you” (Ezekiel 36:26).

So ask God for His help in overcoming jealousy, ask Him to fill you up with His Holy Spirit, and count your blessings, live in gratitude, change your focus, and you will surely your outlook will be altered and you will be jealous no more!

I hope this post was of some encouragement to you, and I wish you a wonderful week! 

Much Love,

-Brigitte 

xo

Put on God's Armor

In my last post, I discussed the importance of having good friends, mentors, and people (small groups) who you can connect with on a deeper level than superficial topics, and as a result, be encouraged, inspired, and motivated by them. In this post, I want to emphasize the importance of surrounding yourself with people who will do just that and avoiding isolation.

God said (in Genesis 2:18) that “It is not good for the man to be alone.” In Hebrews 10:25 we are advised “not [to] neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of [Christ’s] return is drawing near.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble."

In the fast-paced world we live in today, it can be so easy to neglect relationships and forsake connecting with others on a regular basis, but the Bible is clear that meeting together with other Christians and connecting with others is of the utmost importance, and in this post I'll explain why.

In Ephesians 6:12 we are informed that, "Our enemies are not of flesh and blood. We are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”

You don't have to believe the Bible to realize that this statement is true. Humans are clearly facing a spiritual battle that occurs in the mind, and it is evident to see in the world we live in. Look at how many deaths, suicides, and other life-ruining tragedies have resulted not from bombs, war, or plague, but by human's own self-destructive tendencies (alcoholism, drug use, and suicide to name a few).

Doesn't anyone else find it bizarre that the main battle we face is not with other humans, but the one occurring in our minds? To me, it screams the truth of what this verse is saying: That humanity is facing a spiritual battle. You don't have to take my word for it, like I said, just take a look at the statistics of self-destructive tendencies and you'll know what I'm saying is true.

So once you've acknowledged that a spiritual battle is in fact occurring, the next question is "What do we do about it?" The thought of dealing with demonic forces is probably a scary idea to most people, but the good news is, there are "weapons" we can use that are FAR, FAR MORE POWERFUL than any destructive forces of our enemy (Satan). (I'll get to that in a moment).

But first, have you ever seen a pack of lions on national geographic hunt a tribe of gazelles? If so, then you've probably seen them go after the weakest of the pack: The one that is separated from the rest. The same occurs in our spiritual lives as well. The Bible tells us that "Satan prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8).

When we separate ourselves from like-minded people who have our best interest in mind, we put ourselves in a position of vulnerability. Like the lonesome gazelle, we are more susceptible to spiritual attack when we are separated from our "tribe" (or our like-minded, Christian brothers and sisters).

As intimidating as that might sound, the good news is that, "No weapon formed against us shall prosper" (Isaiah 54:19), and that "Our weapons are MIGHTY for the destruction of strongholds" (2 Corinthians 10:4). God has given us His DIVINE POWER to demolish spiritual strongholds (bondages or areas of our lives occupied by our enemy).

So what are our "weapons?"

Ephesians 6:10-18 says we are to "Be strong in the Lord and in his MIGHTY POWER," and to "Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes... Put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground... Stand firm with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people."

Prayer, God's Word, Righteousness, the Gospel of Peace, Salvation, Faith, and Truth: These are our weapons, and by them, "we are MORE THAN CONQUERORS through Him [Christ] who loved us [enough to die for us]" (Romans 8:37).

If you are facing a spiritual battle, I encourage you to seek refuge and find your strength in God. Arm yourself with His mighty weapons which are powerful in overcoming the ploys of the enemy, and seek consolation, encouragement, and prayer with other trusted Christian friends. Do this, and you will stand strong no matter what kind of attacks are thrown at you.

God bless you all, and may you be reminded of the victory that is yours in Christ. 

Show Me Your Friends and I'll Show You Your Future!

It's been said by many wise and successful people that you become

like the top 5 people you spend the most time with. Ever heard the joke of how some people begin to look like their pets? Well, as humorous as that may sound, the same is kind of true with people who spend a lot of time with each other: We begin to mimic each other’s traits and habits. (This is ESPECIALLY true of romantic relationships—but that’s a WHOLE OTHER conversation!)

Proverbs 13:20 sensibly advises us: "Walk with the wise and become wise, [but] a companion of fools suffers harm.” In other words, we are who we hang out with. Spend time with people who are wise, and you’ll be wise. Spend time with people who are foolish, and you’ll become foolish.

In 1 Corinthians 15:33, we are cautioned, "Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character." Ever heard the saying, "One bad apple spoils the bunch?" It means that one person can negatively affect a group of people (and vice versa—one person can positively affect a group of people). Now imagine the effect a whole group of people has on just one person! There is power in numbers and no one is immune to peer pressure, which is why it is so important to consciously surround yourself with people who you'd like to be more like. Whether you realize it or not, who you are friends with has a huge effect on the outcome of your character, finances, the way you think and speak, and your entire life.

The good news is, you have control over who you choose to be friends with. You get to choose your friends! So choose wisely!

Not only is it important to cut people out of your life who may be

toxic to your growth, but to also surround yourself with people who are going to inspire, motivate, and help lift you when you're down. Proverbs 15:22 says, "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisors they succeed." If we want to succeed, (if we want spiritual, financial, relational success—success in ANY aspect of our lives) then we MUST have counselors, mentors, guides, and support groups to help us get there. No man is an island, and we certainly weren't meant to do this life alone. We need other people in our lives to help encourage, motivate and inspire us, and help lift us up when we are down. As it says in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble... And a three cord-strand (a gathering of three people) is not easily broken."

I hope you’re inspired to take account of your relationships, evaluate which ones may not be healthy, and what friends you may need to replace with more positive, empowering, inspiring, and uplifting ones.

As always, I wish you all a wonderful week!

Lots of Love,

Brigitte

xx

Butterfly Theology--As A Man Thinks, He Becomes

In relation to my last post on the Pygmalion Effect, I wanted to further emphasize the importance of guarding what kind of self-images and beliefs about ourselves that we hold to be true in our mind. The reason it’s so important to have a healthy self-image, is because it completely affects everything we do. If we have the belief that we are a loser and nobody likes us, we will live in accordance with that belief, and likely end up actually becoming a loser that nobody likes! However, if we believe we have the ability to succeed, that we are liked by others, that we are loved by God, and that our life here on earth has a purpose, we will live in accordance with that belief as well and our life will reflect it. As a result, we would likely be successful, liked by others, and live a life with purpose and love!

Our world is shaped by our beliefs, which is why it is so

important to be mindful of what we are thinking. This is especially true when it comes to our spirituality. Do you see God as a tyrant and unmerciful ruler ready to smite any human that does not obey Him with a lightning bolt? Or, do you see Him as loving, compassionate, merciful, full of grace, patience, and slow to anger? What about yourself? Do you see yourself as a dirty, rotten, unforgivable sinner who is just “too far gone” to be saved or loved by a benevolent Creator? Or, do you see yourself as someone who may make mistakes, yet is loved, valuable, worthy, beautiful, healed, purpose-filled, forgiven, cherished, and treasured in the eyes of God?

Your answers will determine the kind of life, and relationship with God that you have.

Your relationship with Him may be non-existent, because you think He is an unmerciful tyrant ready to smite humanity. Your relationship with Him may be one that is based on guilt and fear, because you have been manipulated into your religion and believe that nothing you ever do is “good enough” and that you must “earn” your salvation. Or, your relationship with God may be intimate, meaningful, fruitful, and of great value to you because you know that God loves you unconditionally, that you are forgiven and treasured in His sight, and that He has given your life a purpose. You know that there is nothing you could ever do to “earn” your salvation, but that you are saved by His grace. You know that you may still sin and be imperfect, but because you believe that the blood of Jesus has wiped your slate clean, you are a new creation in Him, and you are perfection in God’s sight because of Christ’s sacrifice for our sins.  

Like the Pygmalion Effect, Butterfly Theology is the belief that what we believe about ourselves, and what we believe God says about us becomes a reality. As Proverbs 23:7 says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so He becomes,” which is why it is so important to align your beliefs about yourself with God’s.  I want to share with you a quote from Bruce McNicol’s, “The Kingdom Life” that further and beautifully explicates the importance of monitoring and altering the way you see yourself to match the way God sees you:

“When Christians see themselves as “sinners saved by grace,” they have no choice but to live life as sinners, strenuously striving to become saints. Naturally, this effort leads to failure because we’re not in charge of our sainthood. Our sainthood has already been accomplished by our loving Savior, Jesus Christ. Therefore, when Christians are able to see themselves as “saints who sin,” as Christ-in-me creatures, as clothed with robes of righteousness, they have the only basis to grow up into what is already true of them. God says we are righteous, and this becomes the context or the condition that allows Christ to dwell in us. If my vision of what I can become is based on my vision of who Jesus says I already am—righteous—I can relax and mature into something I already am. When we trust God (remember humility?), our self-identity builds on His assessment, not ours—on His righteousness, not our own ‘righteousness.’

Sometimes when we lose our grip on who God has made us to be, we must remember the butterfly. Nature provides many examples of this incredible discrepancy between who we appear to be and who we truly are. Consider the caterpillar. If we brought a caterpillar to a biologist and asked him to analyze it and describe its DNA, he would tell us, ‘I know this looks like a caterpillar to you, but scientifically, according to every test including DNA, this is fully and completely a butterfly.’ Wow! God has wired into a creature that looks nothing like a butterfly a perfectly complete butterfly identity. And because the caterpillar is a butterfly in essence, it will one day display the behavior and attributes of a butterfly. The caterpillar matures into what is already true about it. In the meantime, berating the caterpillar for not being more like a butterfly is not only futile, it will probably hurt his tiny ears!

So it is with us. God has given us the DNA of godliness. We are saints—righteous. Nothing we could do will make us more righteous than we already are. Nothing we could do will alter this reality. He knows that we are ‘Christ in me.’ And now He is asking us to join Him in what He knows is true.” –Bruce McNicol

2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us, “If anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”

When we accept God’s love and power into our lives by acknowledging that Jesus died for our sins, the Bible tells us that we are made into a new creation. Ephesians 2:10 says that, “We are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

And it doesn’t matter whether or not you may feel like a new creation, or a masterpiece yourself right now, you must know that God sees you differently, and start living according to who HE says you are. You may not feel like a masterpiece, but that’s what God says you are. And you can’t argue with God. Romans 4:17 tells us that God “calls things that don’t yet exist into existence.” He calls things what they are before they actually exist. God called Abraham the father of many nations before he even had a son. In fact, the idea of him having a son was laughable, considering him and his wife’s old age, but the time came to pass where God followed through on His word and made Abraham the father of many nations. Know that God is not done with you yet, and that “he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion” (Philippians 1:6). God finishes what He starts. You may not feel like a masterpiece now, but you are a masterpiece in the making. What matters is not how you feel, what matters is knowing who God says you are, and accepting it as truth, then living in accordance with it and lining up your self-beliefs with His word.

So how does God see you? He sees you as His beautiful workmanship (Eph. 2:10). You are His beloved child (Romans 8:17). You are the apple of his eye, He’s even numbered the very hairs on your head (Mat. 10:30). He loves you so much He can’t even take His eyes off of you! His thoughts towards you are more numerous than all grains of sand (Psalm 139:17).

 It is clear that God loves us, and that He has nothing but good plans and intentions for us—that we are more precious to Him than anything else. And if you don’t believe me, then just take a look in the Bible! The message of His endless love for you is quite clear!

And just to help you re-frame and re-fresh your mind onto how God really sees you, I’ve included below a list of Biblical affirmations that tell us just exactly who God says we are, and who He made us to be. I highly recommend reading these aloud, meditating on the meaning of them, and allowing them to soak in, and permeate your beliefs that you may know who God says you are and who He has made you to be so that you may live, act, and speak in a way that is in accordance with how He sees you!  Remember that “as a man thinks, so he becomes!”

I have been set free in Christ, I am no longer a slave to sin (Galatians 5:5, Romans 6:14).

I am God’s masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10).

I am God’s child (Romans 8:17, John 1:2)

I am loved by God (John 3:16, Romans 8:38, Proverbs 8:17, Romans 5:8).

I am a new creation in Christ, the old is gone and the new has come (2 Corinthians 5:17).

I am a believer, not a doubter (Mark 5:36).

I have been justified (Romans 5:1).

I belong to God (1 Corinthians 16:19-20).

I am complete in Christ (Colossians 2:9-10).

I am a citizen of heaven (Philippians 3:20).

I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me (1 John 5:18).

I am God's temple (1 Corinthians 3:16).

I am chosen by God (John 15:16).

I live in love, not in fear (1 John 4:8, 1 John 4:18).

I am not fearful, I have been given God’s Spirit of Power, Love, Courage, and Sound Mind (2 Timothy 1:7).

I am conscientious of my words, because I know they hold power and reflect my fate (Matthew 12:37).  

I guard my thoughts because I know as I think, so I become (Proverbs 23:7).

The Pygmalion Effect–How Your Self-Perception Alters Your Reality

What Kind of Person do you think you are? How do you perceive yourself to be?

What if I told you that how you answer this question determines the outcome of your life? 

How you see yourself is of absolute importance because it affects everything that you do. How we see ourselves determines what kind of goals we set, what kind of thoughts we think, how we act and behave, and what decisions we make.

To start off, I'm going to give a little lesson in Roman legend 101. According to Roman legend, a sculptor by the name of Pygmalion had envisioned a woman so remarkably beautiful he could not help but bring his vision to life through his gift of sculpting. His sculpture was more than beautiful; in fact, it embodied every ideal, hope, dream, possibility, and meaning that Pygmalion held. It wasn’t before long that Pygmalion fell in love with his idealistic sculpture, so much so that he bargained with the goddess of love, Venus, to bring her to life. And according to the legend, she did.

Now what does this have to do with you and I you might ask? Well, like Pygmalion, who brought his sculpture to life simply through the power of his belief, you and I have the power to bring to life certain traits within others and within ourselves simply based on how we perceive others and ourselves. In positive psychology, this power of belief is referred to as “The Pygmalion Effect,” and its implications reveal that our belief in another person’s potential, or our own, actually brings that potential to life.  

To further explain, I’ll share a little story with you: Back when I was in high-school, there was a classroom clown cracking jokes and causing apparent disruption to the classroom. Instead of simply asking the kid to be quiet, giving him a pink slip, or kicking him out of the class, the teacher told him to hold out his right hand and turn it over. The student did said procedure as the teacher responded, “Good, now at least I know you can flip burgers at McDonald’s, because that’s what you’re going to be doing the rest of your life.” What this teacher may or may not have realized at the time, was that he was speaking prophetic words of negativity into this child’s life. Rather than kindly encouraging the class-clown to pay attention, he publicly belittled and humiliated him, and sure enough, a couple years later, that kid had dropped out of high-school and began flipping burgers at McDonald’s.

Here’s another example: A new teacher was given the names of her students as well as their locker numbers. She mistakenly took these numbers as each of her pupil’s IQ scores. Consequently, she spent the rest of the school year under the impression that each one of her students was an utter genius, and her verbal and non-verbal actions communicated that quite clearly to each of her students. By the end of the year, the school’s principle called the teacher into his office asking, “What on earth did you do to get these kids’ test scores so incredibly high?” Her response was, “Well sir, they are genius.’” “And how would you know that?” he replied. “Well because of their IQ scores you gave me in the beginning of the year!” she returned. With a grin and a shake of the head he said, “Those weren’t their IQ scores, those were their locker numbers!”  

Story upon story, study upon study continues to prove the dramatic effect our beliefs have when it comes to influencing others. Our beliefs in others can either discourage them to sink into failure, or encourage them to rise up and realize their full-potential. The same is true of ourselves. The way we see ourselves determines how we act, behave, what we say and think, what kind of goals we set (if we believe we are destined for failure, the bar will be set very low, and vice versa) and what kind of decisions that we make. If we don’t believe we can do something, what’s the point in us even trying in the first place?

Why did my high-school friend, the class clown, drop out of high school? Because he listened to what he was told and didn’t believe he could do anything else with his life. A student who doesn’t believe they will ever amount to anything is more likely to drop out or get poor grades. Why even try in the first place? A young girl who doesn’t have much self-worth or self-value is more likely to seek love in the wrong places, because she doesn’t think she can do any better or is worth any better. A husband who is constantly nagged by his wife is going to feel as if there’s no point to doing anything nice for her at all.

When we encourage others, when we help others to see their unlimited potential, we are aiding in bringing that potential to life. When we listen to self-degrading thoughts of negativity and failure, we are only hindering our future. When we chose to seek our strong areas, improve on our weak ones, and know that the potential within each of us is unlimited, we are creating a future that is bright, meaningful, and completely fulfilled and purposeful.

As Sean Achor puts it, “When we believe we can do more and achieve more (or when others believe It for us), that is often the precise reason we do achieve more.” Science has barely begun to glimpse into all of the remarkable ways our mindset actually shapes and determines the objective world around us.

It is truly proof of the timeless wisdom that, “As a man thinks in his heart, so he becomes” (Proverbs 23:7).

Now let me ask again, “Who do you believe you are?”

I hope you answer differently, or at least a little more positively knowing that how you answer will be reflected in  how you behave, live, the goals you set, the thoughts you think, the words you speak, and ultimately, the kind of life you will have.

"I am by nature a dealer in words, and words are the MOST powerful drug known to humanity" -Rudyard Kipling 

Falling Upward--Using Adversity to Your Advantage

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger? New Studies on the psychological phenomenon known as “Post-Traumatic Growth”  reveal truth behind this age-old maxim. Read this post to discover how you can use your Adversities to Your Advantage.

For years, psychology has promoted the idea that after facing a life-altering adversity or traumatic event, that there are two possible outcomes for the victim: Either you emerge from your problem with normalcy, or you revert backwards and end up worse than you were before, suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

 However, newer research in the realm of positive psychology shows that this is simply not true, and that there is another possible outcome for people who have had their share of adversity: It’s known as “Post-Traumatic Growth,” or as Best-Selling Author and Leading expert in human potential, Sean Achor likes to put it, “Falling upward.”

Study after study has shown that those who experience adversity, suffering, loss, life-threatening illnesses, poverty, war, mistakes, failures, and disappointments have the profound opportunity to use those pains or failures as a catapult or fuel to their success, bringing truth to the old adage, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

Increase in humility, compassion, inner strength, courage, resilience, spirituality, even happiness, deeper intimacy in relationships, and overall greater life satisfaction are just a few of the positive “side effects” of those who choose to “fall upward,” take the path of “Post-Traumatic GROWTH” and use adversities to their advantage.

In his book, The Happiness Advantage, Achor explains that the key factor in distinguishing whether a person will grow in the midst of adversity, or not is their mindset. It is those who define themselves not by what has happened to them, rather by what they can make out of what has happened to them that determines their outcome of extraordinary success, or failure. As one of my favorite quotes states: “You may not be able to change the winds of adversity, you can however change the direction of your sails.”

Although we may not be able to change what happens to us, we most certainly can choose how we react. Oscar Wilde once said,  “What seems to us like bitter trials are often ‘blessings in disguise.’” When we choose to see every setback as yet another opportunity for growth, or a “blessing in disguise,” we have harnessed the power of “Falling Upward” and open the door for a whole new world of opportunities for success. 

As always, I hope you were encouraged by this post and inspired to use your adversities to your advantage by choosing to “Fall Upward.” Have a wonderful week everyone! xx