Love is a Drug... Use Wisely!

In my book, TNT: Teenage Transformation, Part 1: Dating, one of

the things I talk about is how one of the aspects of being in love is based on a chemical dependency for the person of our interest. Even thinking of the person who we admire, like, or love causes our brains to release all kinds of feel-good hormones like dopamine and serotonin. Our brains reward us with these pleasure hormones whenever we think of, or spend time with this person, and can therefore cause us to become chemically addicted to that person! Crazy, huh?

Even thinking of the person who we admire, like, or love causes our brains to release all kinds of feel-good hormones like dopamine and serotonin.

There’s one hormone in particular that can cause some serious emotional damage if not properly managed or kept in its place. This hormone is called Oxytocin, and it’s released after any kind of physical or emotional intimacy, with its largest amounts released after sex. It’s been referred to by many scientists and doctors as the body’s own “love drug” or “love potion” because the surge of pleasure that Oxytocin causes is similar to that of taking heroin or cocaine!

Oxytocin has been referred to by many scientists and doctors as the body’s own “love drug” or “love potion” because its pleasure release is similar to that of taking heroin or cocaine!

Oxytocin is the reason why it’s possible to become chemically addicted to another person, and therefore the reason why we should be careful of whom we become “addicted” to. Women in particular need to be on guard of who they may become attached to, because while Oxytocin enhances the bonding and attachment levels in men 5 times their normal level after sleeping with someone, the bonding and attachment levels of women increase 12 times their normal level after sleeping with someone! Oxytocin is the reason why women typically become more attached after sex than men do. Not to say that men don’t experience attachment, it’s just that the attachment is much stronger in women than it is in men. To me, the bonding effects of Oxytocin is just scientific proof of the verses in the ancient biblical texts of Mark and Genesis when it says that "the two become one" (Mark 10:8, Genesis 2:24) in marriage, or after sex.  Sex is a uniting experience.

 

Oxytocin is the reason why it’s possible to become chemically addicted to another person, and therefore the reason why we should be careful of whom we become “addicted” to.

When it comes down to it, love and sex are really like a drug. They both cause our bodies to release feel good hormones just like that of an actual drug. And therefore, just like any other drug, love can have its side effects if not used with wisdom, caution, and in the proper context. Columnist, Nicole Hoelle explains the possible side-effects of this “love drug:”

“The combination of these chemicals can be particularly disruptive if there isn’t any sort of solid relationship in place. [The woman is] left flooded with chemicals which cause her to yearn for and crave this man, and even become obsessed. If the craving is not satisfied, she “crashes” and undergoes symptoms similar to those of a drug addict’s withdrawal, including depression, agitation, anxiety, irritability and despair [...] Left with an enormous emotional and physical desire for someone she cannot have, her mind and body thrown into a state of unbalance the woman only wants is to have her craving satisfied, and this can cause her to experience the symptoms, according to Dr. Helen Fisher (of Rutgers University), of someone with ‘mental illness’” (Hoelle).

The “side effects” of this “love drug,” included attachment, and possible emotional instability if a committed relationship is not set in place.

  

As you can see, the side effects of this love drug can be particularly harmful and disruptive if a committed relationship is not set in place. It’s something you might want to consider the next time you’re contemplating “casual” copulation, or sleeping with someone with whom you’re not quite sure where the relationship is going. In doing so, you could save yourself a lot of wasted time and heart-break by choosing to be wise with how you use this “love drug.”

As always, I hope you found that post useful and I wish you all a wonderful week! Take care everyone, and use your “love drug” wisely! ;-)

For more info on “The Science of Love” and how to make wise dating decisions, pick up a copy of my book, TNT: TeeNage Transformation—Explosive Ideas That Will Blow Your Mind and Change Your Life Forever!!

Photo from Karen Salmansohn’s Instant Happy

Fight the "ANT's" With "TNT!"

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12

 

Spiritual warfare is a part of life that all people should be aware of, especially if you are a Christian. The Bible tells us that there are powers at work that are constantly trying to bring us down and cause us harm. Now, as scary or bizarre as that may sound to some of you, there is good news--there is also a power at work so much stronger and greater that is fighting for us on our behalf, and that is far greater than any force of darkness positioned against us.

Spiritual warfare is a battle of the mind.

In the Bible we are told that it is the enemy's goal is to cause as much harm to humanity because he is jealous that God would so lovingly call humans His children and be willing to die for them. The attempted harm starts by an attack on our thoughts through getting us to believe things about ourselves or our lives which are simply not true. You see, spiritual warfare begins in the mind. The enemy knows that if he can get our thoughts off track by distorting our self-image through feeding us lies, that we will be more prone into giving into self-destructive tendencies and habits. Some of the most common lies the enemy attempts to feed us are things like, "You're not good enough (pretty enough, smart enough, successful enough, etc.)" or "You'll never make it anywhere," or "Nobody likes you, nobody cares, you're just worthless and ugly!" Talk about negative, huh! But surprisingly, we sometimes take those lies our brains feed us and interpret them as true--even when they are not. And our beliefs about ourselves and those around us can have tremendous implications on the way we live, because the way we perceive ourselves is affects all of our actions and decisions.

 

We will be more prone into giving into self-destructive tendencies and habits if our self-image is distorted and our thinking is off-balance.

You don't have to take my word to know what I’m professing is true. Just take a look at the statistics of how many people die each year because of drug overdose, alcohol poisoning, STD's, or suicide. It is clear that there is a force at work attempting to bring harm upon humans; call it our own tendency to have a self-destructive human nature, call it spiritual warfare—but the truth is it exists. And the internal battle we face begins with what beliefs we allow into our minds.

The battle we face begins with what beliefs we allow into our minds.

If you still aren’t convinced about the battle which occurs in our minds, you can take a look to science as your proof. Dr. Daniel Amen, clinical neuropsychologist, founder of the Amen Clinic, and author of the Best-selling book, Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, explains that that "ANT's" or "Automatic Negative Thoughts" are negative thoughts that our brains have a natural tendency to automatically and systematically generate. The good news, Amen says, is that we can talk back to those negative thoughts and get rid of them by replacing them with positive thoughts instead.

Believing “ANTs” (Automatic Negative Thoughts) makes us prone into giving into self-destructive tendencies and habits.

 

Think of spiritual warfare as tuning into a radio station. There is a positive frequency of truth and goodness, which inspires us to be the best version of ourselves and live life to its fullest. And, there is a negative frequency that feeds us lies and evokes feelings of suffering, sorrow, loss, and inadequacy. This negative station can cause us to choose a path of self-destruction. If we truly believe we are ugly and unlovable, we will go through life searching for love and human approval in places that may lead us down very harmful paths. If we believe that we are unsuccessful, stupid, or a loser, we will live and act in a way that is in accordance with those beliefs. But, if we believe that we have the ability to succeed, triumph over circumstances, that we are loveable, and beautiful in our own way, then we will live a life that is in accordance with success, striving to be the best we can be, and living to our full potential. Are you beginning to see how important our self-beliefs are?

Monitoring what we believe to be true is important, because will live and act in a way that is in accordance with those beliefs. The Bible tells us that, “As a man thinks in his heart, so he becomes” (Proverbs 23:7). Think about what that means for a moment. This Proverb is telling us that what we believe about ourselves, what we hold to be true about ourselves, actually determines what kind of person we become.

This is why the enemy attempts to attack our thoughts more than anything else. If we can buy into the lies that are an attempt to destroy and bring us down, then we are in a vulnerable position. We place ourselves in the position where we will buy into the idea that we need to find fulfillment in temporary, yet highly destructive pleasures like drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, etc.

This is why God’s word wisely instructs to: “Guard your heart, because everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23 NIV). This verse is saying that we must guard what we perceive to be true, because what we perceive to be true affects every single decision we make.

We must guard what we perceive to be true, because what we perceive to be true affects every single decision we make.

The Bible tells us that in order to win the battle, we have to be on guard not to feed into the lies (or “ANT’s”) (1 Peter 5:8), and that we must learn to combat and replace these lies with God's positive truths of who He has created us to be. In fact, the best way to combat the “ANTs” is by fighting them with what I like to call “TNT” or “Transformative New Thoughts!” We are instructed throughout scripture to “Be transformed by the renewing of [our] minds” (Romans 12:2), and that transformation occurs when we renew our minds with the TRUTH of who God has created us to be! Below I’ve included only a few of some “TNT’s” that you can read through, meditate on, and speak ALOUD so that you may affirm to yourself and re-program your mind on what is TRUE! God's word tells us that we his beloved children, that we are beautiful in his sight, that we are his masterpiece in the making! Those are the wonderful terms that our Creator saw fit to label you with! Those are the kinds of thoughts and truths that will help you combat and defeat any negative lies you may face.

Take the time to fill your mind with these positive truths by reminding yourself of who our Creator says you are, re-program your mind onto the truth of how our Savior sees you:

You are a child of God (see 1 Peter 1:23).

You are forgiven of all of your sins and washed clean (Eph. 1:17, 1 John 1:9, Heb. 9:14, Col. 1:14).

You are a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).

You have been blessed (Gal. 3:9, Deut. 28:2).

You have been set free (John 8:31-33).

You are strong in the Lord (Eph. 6:10).

You are accepted by Christ (Eph. 1:6).

You are blameless in His sight (Eph. 1:4)

You are more than a conqueror In Christ, and overwhelming victory is yours. (Rom. 8:37)

You are loved and forgiven by him (John 3:16, 1 Peter 5:7)

You are His masterpiece and workmanship (Eph. 2:10)

If you’ve found any of what you read helpful or encouraging, or want to read more “TNT’s” you can read more in my book TNT: TeeNage Transformation –ExplosiveIdeas That Will Blow Your Mind And Change Your Life Forever!

God Knows Best

“Who can know the LORD's thoughts? Who knows enough to teach him?” -1 Corinthians 2:16, Romans 11:24

I had a revelation this morning when I was cooking myself some breakfast. As usual, my fluffy little Maltese toy poodle was eagerly watching me hoping for a piece of food to drop to the floor. I looked at her beady little eyes and said, “No Belle, you can’t have any. It will make you sick!” As I sat down to eat, Belle followed me, eyes fixed on my food as she groaned, begged, barked, and made puppy eyes at me. “No Belle,” I said. I looked at her round little fluffy face and said, “Belle, do you know how much I love you?  I can’t give this to you because it’s not good for you.” Just then it hit me. There have been countless times where I have groaned, begged, and even cried to God over something I desperately wanted, and which I would get frustrated when I didn’t get.

My puppy could never fully comprehend how much I love her. She knows she is loved because she is fed, groomed, and well taken care of. But her little puppy brain could never grasp the full extent of just how much we care about her. I realized at that moment, that it is the same with us and God. We could never fully grasp the extent of His love for us—it is just too great for our human minds to comprehend. And when He does not grant us certain requests, He does it for our own good. He’s not doing it to be mean! He has a reason for it—and a good one too!

When we think we really want or need something, just like my puppy really wanted my food, we may fail to realize that if God withholds something from us, that it is after our best interest. Just as I would not give my precious little pup any food that would make her sick, sometimes the Lord withholds certain things from us because He doesn’t want us becoming spiritually, emotionally, or mentally sick. He wants the very best for us—and often times the things we ask for, although we may think are the best, are not really the very best.  I want to encourage you by letting you know that if there is something that you have been praying for, begging for, asking for, pleading for, and have not yet seen an answer to—consider this: That God wants the absolute best for you, and that maybe what you are asking for is not the very best of what He has in store for you. I challenge you to start asking God to show you what He wants for your life, and to help you let go of anything that may not be the very best for your life. I pray that He grants you the patience to hold out for His very best, and to also gain the wisdom to discern the best from the not-so-good things of what He has in store for your life. One of my favorite things to say is, “Never settle for less because you’re too afraid to hold out for God’s best.” Keep patiently waiting, and God will bless you with His very best!

Remind yourself of Isaiah 55:9, where God tells us that “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are MY ways HIGHER (better, more wonderful) than YOUR ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

His thoughts and plans toward us far surpass anything we could have thought up or planned on our own. Remember that His thoughts and plans for us are so much greater than we can even imagine! Trust in Him, because He wants the very best for you! J

Be Patient

"Even miracles take time." -From Cinderella

Many times in life when we expect things to go a certain way--according to our planned timing--and when they don't, we become disappointed. Sometimes we fail to realize that certain things take time, and if we have the expecation of things working out at an unrealistically fast pace, it can lead to disappointment if we don't have the right attitude of patience. One of the greatest virtues when it comes to dealing with situations that seem to be dragging out too long, is patience. Patience is crucial because there are inevitable times in life when plans get delayed or hopes become temporarily deffered.

There may be areas of your life right now where you are waiting--waiting to get called back from a job, waiting for God to provide you with an answer to a prayer, waiting to be delivered from a certain situation you don't have control over, but must instead practice patience with. Waiting can be difficult, but I've found that immersing yourself in positive activities as well as God's word, can help the wait seem less like a wait and more like an enjoyable time.
I love what it says in Psalm 37:34 (TLB): "Don't be impatient for the Lord will act! Keep traveling steadily along his pathway and in due season He will honor you with every blessing."