How to Learn New Behaviors, Create New Habits, and Cultivate Positive Change that Lasts

Whether it’s sticking to a diet, attempting to learn a new language or instrument, spend less money, exercise more, or actually stick with your New Year’s resolutions, there are some very important things to know about the human psyche before conquering any feat or accomplishing any goal—and this post will help you make simple adjustments in your life that will help you get closer to achieving your goals with efficacy and swiftness.

1.       Create New Habits

When it comes to making any behavioral change, we must start by

changing our habits. The "father of American Psychology," Physician, and Philosopher William James said we are "mere bundles of habit," biologically prone to routine. Aristotle explained this by expressing: "We are what we repeatedly do." It is true that we are creatures of habit, and the majority of our day consists of doing things that come naturally to us because we've made them habitual; as a result, these things come to us fairly easily and effortlessly. We don’t need to put much conscious effort into brushing our teeth, or driving to work, and the same is true of behaviors we make habitual. The issue lies within actually transforming a desired behavior from a painstakingly effort-driven goal, into an easy, effortless habit. Luckily for you, the following tips will teach you how to do just that!

2.       Know that Will power alone is not enough

When we desire to create lasting change, we must know that will power is not enough. In fact, not only is will power not enough, but psychological studies prove that the more will-power is used, the more our ability to utilize it is weakened. Participants in a study who were told they were not permitted to eat the chocolate chip cookies sitting on the plate in front of them while attempting to solve a difficult puzzle gave up on the feat much faster in contrast to those who were told they could eat the cookies if they wished. Rather than attempting to change a behavior through will power alone, there are a few things we can do to make our journey through self-improvement a bit easier: 

3.       Strive for Progress, Not for Perfection

There is a practice known as “kaizen” which is Japanese for “continuous improvement.” Far too often we put stringent, binding, and unattainable goals with ridiculous time restraints that end up making us feel trapped or like failures when we fail to accomplish them. While it’s important to push the limits of possibility by stretching our goals and striving for excellence, it’s equally important not to expect immediate results all at once. As Achor puts it, “[Our goals should be] not so easy that we don’t have to try, but not so difficult that we get discouraged and give up.” Rather than attempting to stick to strict, self-imposed rules and regulations, the key should be to strive for “kaizen,” or “continuous improvement.”

William James described this as making "daily strokes of effort." This concept brings truth to the maxim: "Practice makes perfect." In striving for progress, not perfection, we take the pressure not to fail off of ourselves and make the growth process much more enjoyable.

4.       Put The Desired Behavior On The Path Of Least Resistance, and The Undesired Behaviors on the Path of Greatest Resistance

In his book, The Happiness Advantage, Sean Achor describes the “20 second rule” which shows that creating a 20 second barrier between you and your undesired behavior, and a 20 second shortcut to the desired habit generates lasting change. The reason for this is because the more resistance we face in trying to create a new habit, the less likely we are to implement change towards creating that habit. And vice versa, the less resistance we face, the more likely we are to change. The same goes for undesired behaviors as well. When we create barriers to our undesired behaviors, we are less likely to engage in them. Implementing the 20 second rule and using it to your advantage may look something like taking out the batteries from your remote control in order to watch less television, or leaving books or instruments readily accessible and out in the open where you are more likely to pick them up as they are in your direct vision. Achor even described sleeping in his gym clothes until he made early-morning work-outs an indispensable practice.

5.       Take Baby Steps, Not Grandeur Leaps

We’re much more likely to give up on our goals if we set unrealistic expectations. We can’t write a book before writing a page, and we can’t run a marathon before running a mile. The point is that we should start small, and work our way onto larger feats. Achor refers to this as “expanding our circles,” like Zorro practiced fighting enemies from a small circle until he was strong and capable enough to move out of that restricted area. This way, we don’t run the risk of becoming completely overwhelmed by the task at hand and are less likely to give up because we are taking small steps rather than wearing ourselves out through grandeur leaps. If you’re trying to eat healthier, simply start by adding more fruits and vegetables into your diet rather than going cold-turkey on junk food and feeling like you’re restricting yourself (remember what I said in Point #2 about wearing out our will power!). If you’re trying to save more money, start by putting a few dollars aside every week rather than pressuring yourself to save hundreds at a time. (You get the idea). Small, consistent changes are what yield lasting, positive results in our lives.

As always, I hope you found these tips useful and informative. I hope you discovered a new-found sense of courage in taking on your goals, and may these tools bring some ease to you on your journey towards self-improvement! :-) 
Much Love,
Brigitte
xo