The Power of Words

“Gentle words cause life and health; griping brings discouragement” -Proverbs 15:4 (TLB)

All throughout the Bible it's evident that our words are powerful and that they hold the power to either bring life and healing, or destruction and harm. Something Jesus emphasized when he walked the earth was that we need to pay attention to, and guard what words we allow out of our mouths.

 

 

When God created the universe, the Bible tells us that "He SPOKE, and it came to be" (Psalm 33:9). Out of nothing but words, something was created. God merely said the word, and in an instant, the universe was formed. I believe that when God spoke the universe into existence, He did so as an example, in order that we may follow in His footsteps. He could have merely thought the world into existence, but He specifically chose to SPEAK it, as an example for the power of our words. His word tells us that, "Your Words reflect your fate. Either you will be justified by them, or you will be condemned" (Matthew 12:37) and that, "the power of life and death are in the tongue" (Proverbs 18:21). That's quite some power! Our words have the power to build up, or destroy, to encourage, or tear down, and God wants us to use our words in a way that is most beneficial--in a way that is edifying to God, those around us, and our very own lives. Ephesians 4:29 lovingly instructs us "[not to] use foul or abusive language." But to instead, "let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." The words we speak should reflect our faith. They should be words of love and kindness so that they will be of a benefit to those around us.

"The power of life and death are in the tongue" -Proverbs 18:21

When Jesus calmed the raging seas, He spoke and commanded them to calm down. In Matthew 4:39 we are told that “He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ‘Quiet! Be still!’ Then the wind died down and it was completely calm."

 

Before David defeated Goliath, he spoke words of victory out loud by telling Goliath, “You come against me with sword and spear, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down... and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands” (1 Samuel 17:45-47). How awesome is that! David spoke words of victory before it even happened! His words were a reflection of his faith in God.

Let your words be a reflection of your faith.

Like David, God has given us power in the words we choose to speak. He has given us the ability to use destructive words of harm, or life-giving words of encouragement and faith. The Bible tells us that as humans, we have been created in God's image and likeness (Genesis 1:27) and therefore as His children, we've inherited some of the rights to use God's power for His glory. He's given us power in our words to use them for good or evil.

"Your Words reflect your fate" -Matthew 12:37

Proverbs 18:21 tells us that "those who love to talk will suffer the consequences." And that, we must learn to be "quick to listen and slow to speak" (James 1:19). This week I challenge you to live according the verse in Ephesians 4:29. To "not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only that which is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." In other words, to guard your tongue and what words you permit out of your mouth. To say ONLY that which is beneficial and edifying. To speak words that build up instead of tear down. I challenge you to do this not only in the way you speak to others, but also in the way you speak to yourself and about your own life. Don't be the kind of person that's always speaking words of complaint and defeat. Instead, be like David, who even before he saw victory in his life, spoke words of victory OUT LOUD and IN ADVANCE! In other words, speak bold words of faith! Speak in a way knowing that God is on your side, and that through Him your battles are already won!

Speak in a way knowing that God is on your side, and that through Him your battles are already won!

Take-away Verses:

"The tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do... It always ready to spill out deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it breaks out into curses. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! " -James 3:5-15

"Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." Ephesians 4:29

 

If You're Single and Looking...

If you’re single and have been looking for and desiring a relationship, then I want to propose a challenge to you: Instead of “searching” and looking for that special someone, work on instead becoming that special someone for someone else to find. Instead of “searching” and looking for that special someone, work on instead becoming that special someone for someone else to find.

You’ve probably heard this before, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with keeping a look out for that special someone. The problem occurs when our search overrides the amount of time and energy we spend on actually improving ourselves. Many relationship problems occur because neither person believes that they have to change, they both are under the impression that their own way is right. If we carry this mentality when we are single, there’s a sure chance we’ll also carry it into our relationships as well. When it comes down to it, relationships are really about practicing humility and servant-hood. Instead of searching for someone to meet our needs, we need to change our focus onto how we can improve ourselves so that we can be a better partner for someone else someday. When it comes to solving relationship problems, you can’t change the other person, but you can change yourself--and that change needs to start while you're single.

Ask yourself, “Am I the kind of person that my ideal mate is looking for?”

To clarify the importance of what I mean by this: Ask yourself, “Am I the kind of person that my ideal partner is looking for?” If you’re honest, you may admit that there’s a little self-improvement you can do to prepare and grow yourself into becoming the kind of person that your ideal mate would like to find. Maybe you need to begin taking some action steps by hitting the gym, or start by being a little more disciplined in your finances. Maybe you seek someone with spirituality, but you aren’t living out that spirituality in your own life. No matter what stage of life you’re in, no matter how much money you have, or how great you may think you are, the fact is, there’s always room for improvement! By changing your focus off of finding “the one” and instead onto becoming “the one” you increase your chances of not only finding someone who values what you value, but who is also living out those values in their own life as well. Not only that, but your time of self-improvement will serve the relationship well when it does come time for you to be in one. In addition, the continual and constant steps you make towards self-improving will make you ridiculously irresistible to a number of suitors/suitresses. It’s like Karen Salmansohn of Instant Happy said, “ 'Sexy’ isn’t about what you wear. It’s about how you feel. The more passion you feel for yourself and your life, the more passion others will feel for you.” I know from experience and testimony this is absolutely true. The more you live in accordance with what you value, the more you continue to pursue the things in life which you are passionate about, and the more you continue to make steps towards improvement, the more people will notice those changes and feel a sense of attraction for you because people can sense the positive changes you're making, and you are living in a way that is inspiring to others.

Don’t wait for someone else to make you happy. You can be happy right now.

Another thing I’d like to mention, is that many single people carry

the mentality that only when they are finally in a relationship will they be fulfilled and happy. This is a complete fallacy! Circumstances like relationship status, finances, and career may provide a temporary satisfaction when new, but as the newness wears off, the person who was initially unhappy will revert right back to their old state of discontentment. The reason for this, as the field of positive psychology has repeatedly proven, is that our mood is primarily based not upon circumstances, but our perspective about our circumstances. So unless you change your perspective about yourself and your temporary state of singleness, I can assure you that you’re not going to find someone to make you completely happy! Yes, it’s true that healthy relationships can bring us joy—we were created for relationships, and it’s good to have them. However it is not true that there is one human being that can fully fulfill and satisfy every one of our needs. We’re only human! Nobody can do that! We’re placing on them a burden that only God can fulfill. I’ve known many who search for love in the affection and attention of others, only to end up stuck in a cycle of revolving-relationships, and never happy because they base their love off of what someone else thinks of them, or how someone else treats them. What they fail to realize is that they must first learn to have a healthy self-love for themselves before getting into a relationship. Otherwise, they will be constantly taking and never able to give. They will be needy and dependent upon the other person in order to feel loved because they don’t already feel it for themselves. And a relationship that is based on dependence is certainly not a healthy one. You want to be in a relationship where both people are satisfied in their lives and at a point where they can both mutually give and receive love and affection. If you don’t love yourself, how can you fully love an other? Have a healthy love and appreciation for yourself first, before seeking out a relationship. If you don't have this kind of self- love, appretiation, and self- respect, it's likely you may end up settling for someone who doesn't show you the love you deserve because you don't think that you deserve any better. It's for this reason that many get trapped in emotionally or physically abusive relationships: They don't have enough self-love or self-respect to believe that they deserve or can do any better.

Rather than seeking out love in a human who will love you imperfectly, seek love out in God's perfect love. Find your value and self-worth in Him.

The bottom line is that if you aren’t loving yourself, appreciating yourself, or having fun enjoying your life while you are single, being in a relationship with another person won’t provide that for you.

Learn to love yourself. If you don’t learn love yourself and treat yourself right first, no one will.

Action steps:

1.       Work on becoming the kind of person that your ideal partner is looking for. Ask yourself, “What kind of person is my dream-girl/guy looking for?”

You can: Take self-improvement courses, work on accomplishing some of your goals, do some spring cleaning, make some wardrobe adjustments (this does not have to be expensive or excessive), make some changes in your finances, diet, how you spend your time, etc.

2.       Find fulfillment where you are in your own life right now. Don’t wait for someone else to make you happy. Enjoy your singleness! (It’s a time, that for many, will only come once! So enjoy it while you can!)

You can:  Spend more quality time with friends, take a trip, pick up a hobby, go dancing, go laser-tagging, take a hike, enjoy life, read a book, cook, go scuba diving, whale watching, walk on the beach, buy yourself flowers, exercise, laugh more, watch more movies, learn a new language, set a goal and accomplish it, whatever you find enjoyable and productive, do that! If you don’t learn love yourself and treat yourself right first, no one will.

 

If you found any of what you've read useful or inspirational, you pick up a copy of my book, TNT: TeeNage Transformation Part 1: Dating.

 

Additional recommendations: Too Close, Too Soon, Jim Talley & Bobbie Reed; The Heart of Love, Dr. John Demartini; The Soulmate Secret, Arielle Ford

 

Have a great week everyone! ;-)

It's All About Focus!

I had a revelation one day as I was studying tissues while working in the biology lab. I realized that just as whatever point I chose to focus my microscope on would immediately become magnified and larger, so it goes the same with our focus in life. I realized that it's whatever we choose to set our focus on that becomes most important, grand, or large in our life.

Life is like looking through a microscope: What you choose to focus on is what will be magnified!

It's like this: Have you ever met someone who you thought was initially attractive, until they told you how horribly self-conscious they were of the extremely small mole on the side of their cheek? All of a sudden, the once-attractive qualities you perceived in the other person seem small compared to the suddenly gargantuan mole hanging off the side of their face! Or maybe you've experienced the distraction of sitting in class and listening to the instructor, until someone points out how loud the air conditioner sounds. All of a sudden, it becomes seemingly impossible to focus on anything but the ridiculously loud hum of the A.C! The reason for this is because your focus changed. It changed from the attractive qualities of a person, to their not-so attractive qualities. It changed from listening to the voice of your professor, to the loud hum of the A.C. Nothing changed circumstantially. Nothing changed except what you were focusing on.

You hold the power and the key to utilize your Focus to the best of your advantage.

Most top athletes know the importance of monitoring their focus. Instead of choosing to focus on the physical pain they feel, they change their focus onto how great their victory will be for having been so disciplined. They focus on bettering themselves, on shaping and transforming their body into a winning machine! Like athletes, you too hold the power to utilize your focus to the best of your advantage. Either you can choose to focus on all the things you are lacking in your life, and as a result feel depressed, discouraged, and hopeless. Or, you can choose to choose to focus on all the things you have to be grateful for--no matter how small; whether it is the roof over your head, the fact that you're alive, or your amazing ability to read this post--and as a result, feel immensely blessed, grateful, joyful, productive, and happy! You can focus on your immense work load and feel stressed, or you can choose to focus on how good it will be once you get your work done. You can focus on how lonely you may feel, or you can change your focus onto making someone else's day and as a result feel great for having made a selfless contribution that benefitted someone else. I hope you can see how extremely important monitoring your focus is, and that you have the power to CHOOSE and CHANGE what you focus on.

You have the power to CHOOSE and CHANGE what you focus on.

I want you to try this: Look around the room and within 10 seconds, try to find as many brown objects as possible. Ready? Go!

Finished?

Okay, now without looking around the room again, try telling me all the blue things that you saw.
I can guarantee that you're not able to list nearly as many blue things as you were able to list brown things. And why is that? It's because you were too busy focusing on all the brown to recognize any of the blue! Life is the same way. Please don't miss out on seeing all the wonderful "blue" because you were far too busy being concerned with all the muck and "brown." Enjoy each moment to its fullest by learning to monitor what you focus on! It is a habit that will benefit you, your life, and those around you (positive people bring others up) for years to come!

Don't miss out on all the "blue" because you're too busy focusing on all the "brown!"

Action Steps:
1. Gratitude List
There are a couple things you can do to drastically change your focus for the better. The first thing you can do is make a gratitude list. Every morning when you wake up, write down at least 3-5 new things that you're grateful for and review the list again at night.
2. Help Someone in Need
Second, you can change your focus off of yourself and onto someone else! If you're feeling miserable with your current circumstances there may be a chance that you've become overly absorbed with the problems you’re facing. There's a famous quote that says something like, "the best way to solve your problems is by helping someone else solve theirs." Taking the time to help someone else out of their loneliness, struggles, or hurt helps you get your focus off of yourself and onto someone else, and your problems immediately become much less daunting.

I hope you found this information useful, inspirational, and practical to every-day life. If you'd like more inspiration, you can pick up a copy of my book TNT:TeeNage Transformation --Explosive Ideas That Will Blow Your Mind and Change Your Life Forever!

Have a great week everybody! ;-)

Be Kind To Yourself

 

Something I've realized over the years is that we often tend to be

our own worse self-depretiating critics. We can tend to be the harshest on ourselves and sometimes we need to cut ourselves a break! If you read one of my

previous posts on fighting the "ANTs" with "TNT" then you already know that our brain tends to automatically generate negative thoughts--something Doctor Daniel Amen refers to in his book, Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, as "Automatic Negative Thoughts" or, "ANTs." I like to combat those negative thoughts with something I refer to as, "Transformative New Thoughts"--the kind of thinking that has powerful, transformative implications on you and the way you live!

 In Karen Salmansohn's book "Instant Happy: 10 Second Attitude Makeovers" she challenges us to "talk to yourself the way you'd talk to someone you love." I bet you'd start being a lot nicer to yourself and ignoring those negative "ANTs" if you imagined you were talking to a loved one and not just yourself! This week I challenge you to tell yourself one nice compliment each day, and whenever you get a negative thought and start feeling down on yourself, to combat that with a positive thought about yourself in it's place.If you need help reminding yourself of how awesome and amazing you are, then you can always refer to the Biblical affirmations I compiled at the end of this post (click here) to remind yourself of who God says you are and how wonderful He thinks you are!

Have a great week everyone! :)

 

Photo is from Karen Salmansohn's "Instant Happy: 10 Second Attitude Makeovers"

For more info on Transformational New Thinking you can read TNT: TeeNage Transformation--Explosive Ideas that Will Blow Your Mind and Change Your Life Forever

 

Get HAPPY!

In addition to what I mentioned in my last post, there are several powerful yet simple, easy, and effective things you can begin doing to reduce the stress and sorrow in your life--and help you maintain a positive outlook on life. If you’re feeling stressed by your life, depressed and discourage, and feel as if there is nothing good to focus on, then I have some tips that are clinically proven to change the way you think, feel, and perceive. Follow these tips, and I promise you will notice a drastic change in the way your productivity levels, energy levels, as well as the way you think, feel, and act! Not surprisingly, these tips which have been scientifically proven to raise happiness levels are also biblical truths that wisely advise us as to how to live our best, most fulfilling, joy-filled, and productive life! (Just as God intended it!) Next to each tip I’ve included the scriptural reference just in case you’d like to refer to it.

1. Practice gratitude.Make a gratitude list. Focusing on what you have to be grateful for drastically improves your mind frame. Write down at least 3 new things you have to be grateful for each morning, and review and meditate on it at night (See Psalm 92:2, Ephesians 5:20, 1 Thessalonians 5:18).

“Every morning tell Him, ‘Thank you for your kindness,’and every evening rejoice in all his faithfulness” (Psalm 92:2).

“Always give thanksto God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus” (Ephesians 5:20).

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

2. Pray or Meditate.Studies show prayer and meditation increase left prefrontal cortex growth and strengthening in the brain. The left prefrontal cortex just so happens to be the part of our brain most responsible for our happiness levels. Prayer and meditation also promotes a sense of peace and focus in the midst of a bustling world (See Philippians 4:6). Meditation is a powerful tool in calming the brain and promoting well-being, but even more so when the focus of the meditation is Love.

“Don’t worry about anything, instead pray about everything and with Thanksgiving make your requests known to God" (Philippians 4:6).

3. Do a random act of kindness. There's a part of the brain which is stimulated (it's known as the vagus nerve--often reffered to as "the nerve of compassion")  and promotes the release of endorphins when we do an act of kindness towards another individual, or even witness someone doing something kind for someone else. (The Bible is FULL of scriptures encouraging acts of kindness, generosity, love, and selflessness. It’s no wonder God instructs us to live this way: Not only does being kind and generous make us happier, but there is a law of reciprocity, or “sowing and reaping”—others may know it as “karma” –which occurs when we choose to give out of love and generosity. (Please don't be mistaken, being generous doesn't just mean giving all of your money away! You can be generous with the time that you give even if it means doing something as simple as lending someone a helping hand with loading groceries in their car or even striking up a conversation with someone at lunch who always sits alone--kindness does not have to relate to giving soley of your money--it comes in all shapes and forms). This means when you are kind to others, you are blessed for it. See Proverbs 22:9, Luke 6:38, Philippians 2:4, James 2:17, Matthew 25:35-40, 1 John 3:17, Luke 6:35)

“The generous will themselves be blessed, for they share their food with the poor” (Proverbs 22:9).

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you” (Luke 6:38).

“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great” (Luke 6:35).

4. Live in Love.Promote love and act out of love in your life, rather than hate or bitterness. Forgive. People who love and forgive have shown to be healthier, more positive, optimistic, and even have a lower blood pressure and a lower likelihood of becoming sick from a chronic illness. (Another thing God’s word is adamant about is LOVE. Love is the bottom line, the essential, and the main purpose and reason for our faith. See John 15:12, John 13:34-35, 1 John 4:8, 1 Peter 4:8, Colossians 3:14, Matthew 6:14, Ephesians 4:32).

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you” (John 15:12).

‘Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” (1 John 4:8).

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of faults” (1 Peter 4:8).

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

5. Exercise. It releases endorphins and promotes a sense of productivity and healthy self-esteem. It just so happens to release a chemical in our bodies known as PEA (or Phenethylamine--the same chemical released after sex and in chocolate). Although the Bible doesn’t say that much about physical fitness, it does talk about taking care of our bodies because they are a temple (see 1 Corinthians 3:17) Now more than ever physical exercise has become necessary to staying healthy because of the fast-paced, yet sedentary lifestyle we live.

6. Journal. Journaling about 1 positive thing you've experienced in the past 24 hours allows you to relive it (This comes back to focus—see Philippians 4:8).

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Phil. 4:8).